Tantric Massage For Women in Bexley
If you are looking to have a great, rewarding, and relaxing erotic massage in Bexley, check out what a sexy male masseur can do for you. There are all kinds of great male masseurs in Bexley that are available, it is just a matter of finding the right one for you. You will want to take a look at all the options and pick out one that fits you the best. There are all kinds of great Bexley sensual massage companies for women that will offer a person for hire and will provide you with a service that will knock your socks off and relax you all at the same time.
The great thing about adult massages Bexley is that it is good for the body and the soul. The body needs it to relax and get rid of knots and pain that is present. The mind needs to be able to relax and return to a state where it is productive and rested. With massage, and all the different styles that are out there, and a great male masseur, you’ll be able to relax and get exactly what you want out of it. Your Bexley male masseuse should be a professional that will be able to help you get to the state in your mind and get your body to where you want to be.
When it comes to relaxation, you need to have a good tantric massage in Bexley. There are all kinds of great male masseurs out there that offer a service and will be able to provide you with everything that you need. They will give you a great experience from beginning to end and they will make sure that you enjoy yourself and get the relaxation that you need.
Luxury Yoni Massage Therapy in Bexley
Nakedness and what it evokes is a real issue for bodywork therapists, especially female therapists because of how some clients, men or women, will use the massage session to display sexual behavior.
For this article we are not dealing with how bodywork therapists and massage persons can attempt sexuality with their clients, but only about clients displaying sexuality during the session.
I speak as a former Licensed Marriage, Family and Child Relationships counselor in the State of California, USA. I have done bodywork myself as part of the therapy I do. I have had many years of bodywork done with me, as well as a number of training courses in bodywork therapy.
I speak from counseling massage therapists in my own practice. I also am familiar with psychotherapy for sexual uses, including therapeutic sexual massage that is effective.
Sexual massage is more practiced outside the United States than in the States because of severe sexuality issues and attitudes in the United States differing from Canada and Europe.
Here is a sexual issue example:
A man asks the woman massage therapist over the phone: do you include the genitals in your massage work? This is rather direct. The presenting problem may be more, do you work with sexual problems as part of your massage work?
How is a male or female massage therapist to respond? Is this a sexual come-on? Or is this a cry for help?
A massage therapist comfortable with their own sexuality may be willing to take on a client who does have sexual problems. Many females are upset that they cannot orgasm. Males may easily get erections, but while in a woman be unable to orgasm.
It would be unusual indeed if at least half the people who come in for massage treatment do not have sexual problems. What is the massage body-worker to do?
Some forms of massage do include massaging the naked body of the client, with a towel over the pelvic region or not. Other forms work with light clothing on and consist more of stretching movements.
Rolfing works with the naked body so as to see the alignment. There is hardly a chance in this form to feel pleasure responses because Rolfing itself is to break up muscles and facia that have been emotionally tense for years, and so the work can be extremely painful.
It is rare that a male client will directly attack a female massage therapist, but it is still considered good practice not to give massage to persons you do not know fairly well in places where you have no protection should you need to call for help.
WARNING - It is the generally accepted practice to never work alone with a massage client in a building alone. Always work were there is someone who knows you within calling distance. Work where your live-in partner is at home next room over, or in a building with other therapists or businesses.
Once I did a screaming session with a member of a therapy group in a new place and the motor car salesmen and manager from downstairs came running up and loudly banged on the door. They thought someone was being murdered. We had not told them yet that we did therapy with people!
Of course a male client may not tell you he has sexual problems on the phone, but just come in and then tell you.
ISSUE EXAMPLE - The Man Who Spontaneously Orgasmed
- Was this on purpose? And how should the therapist handle it?
One female massage therapist reported to me about a male client who would get an erection every time and have spontaneous orgasm. She never touched his genitals. She had to have a box of tissues nearby so that he could clean himself up. This was Essalen massage combined with Shiatsu pressure-point massage, which deals especially with freeing blocks in the body.
The male client did not try to have sex with her or get her to touch his genitals. Was this a genuine case of being too orgasmic? What would be the best treatment?
I advised her to instruct her male client to practice full-body awareness as he was being massaged.
Indeed, a chief value for anyone being massaged in many different styles of massage is to relax totally into sensual, bodily awareness. Some fall asleep during this relaxation, which is not necessarily healing for the client but acceptable.
For this male client orgasming he was either impressed with his ability to orgasm spontaneously without touching himself, and needed a female to witness this, or he was indeed a seducer. However, what if he simply was by nature a spontaneous orgasm type male?
Let's deal with seducers first!
Men who fixate on being seducers are only interested in getting a female so open to them through their ways of seduction that they do succeed with having intercourse with her.
Thus some men have developed a seduction technique and try to make it work to perfection on female massage therapists. They are not interested in an ongoing life relationship. They want only seduction and conquest and are willing to pay the massage fees to set up these kinds of situations.
To my knowledge with the female massage therapists I have known, they were never trained through role-playing in how to handle seductive clients.
The massage therapist should keep a massage session always on a professional level with a client, not just for reality reasons of keeping one's license to practice, but to keep the massage situation objective and therapeutic.
With the man who spontaneously orgasmed while his body was being massaged he was emotionally and physically too focused on his erect penis and its ability to display and spray sperm.
So what, we might say. The therapist has to accept many peculiarities with clients, whether it is a massage session or not.
I also counseled the massage therapist to take the first five or ten minutes to talk objectively about the client and his behavior. How does it feel to orgasm here? Are you making it happen? Is it spontaneous? What happens with your own lovers?
These simple questions make the client an object of treatment. They de-potentiate the session of its potential sexuality. The female therapist asserts her professional role as a helper and not a partner. Things are kept within structure. The client is made to feel responsible for his own behavior.
In this real-life example, when my friend, the massage person, made the massage sessions objective as suggested, the man stopped coming. The object to seduce the therapist was no longer possible.
Of course, unconsciously, some do get fixated on seducing mother or father substitutes as a way of 'getting back, getting even,' an unconscious power-play that makes the seducer feel dominant in self-esteem, whether truly so or not.
ISSUE - EXAMPLE - The Man Who Spontaneously Orgasmed During Massage Who Was Not A Professional Seducer
The first edition of this article has in its first year been tremendously popular, and as author I have wondered why. Could it be that there are enough men and some women out there who do spontaneously orgasm while receiving a massage? One concerned man about the first edition of this article thought it implied that someone who spontaneously orgasmed was a seducer.
I thank him for giving his concern and I revise this article here to make it clear that for those who spontaneously orgasm, male or female, IT MAY BE A SOCIAL PROBLEM, BUT IT IS NOT WRONG, NOR EVEN A SEXUAL PROBLEM. NOR SHOULD YOU BE CONSIDERED A SEXUAL SEDUCER OR PERVERT.
Sorry for the implications I made in my original article. And many thanks to the reader who voiced his concern with me.
I would suggest that all massage body-workers have paper tissues, or even clean hand towels available, if a male or female spontaneously orgasms. Approach such a situation with positive feeling, acceptance and awareness.
"Oh, it looks like you have had a spontaneous orgasm. Don't worry about it here. Massage is meant as relaxing, and sometimes this happens, and can happen with most anyone. Would you prefer paper tissue or a hand towel to clean yourself up."
"I feel ashamed to do it in front of you. It just happens . . ."
"We can talk about it if you like. Massage is for knowing your body better and accepting it. Relaxing and letting go is a process of self-awareness and accepting your own body."
"Thanks, I'll take the towel. Maybe if you don't look for a moment."
"Why does it happen?"
"Try not to stay in your head as you receive my massage. To let go means letting go control, and that may mean pleasure feelings start happening, including with your genitals. If you feel an orgasm rising, just say so to me as I massage you, and see what happens. You are learning self-acceptance of your body."
"Does that mean you will massage my genitals?"
"I don't do genital work in directly touching your genitals. But I am certainly not against your having orgasms as part of your process. Are we clear? Or do you have any questions still?"
"Let's get on with it."
FOR THE CLIENT WHO SPONTANEOUSLY ORGASMS
Of course, it is your process that is important, however it happens. But why not pre-select the massage body-workers you work with?
Simply tell them on the phone, or in person is better, that you sometimes spontaneously orgasm and it embarrasses you. Ask that person you are meeting for the first time, how they might handle such a situation with you. Then make your decision on the spot, saying you will try out a session or not. You are buying the service. It is your right and necessity to feel safe with the person you work with.
Tell that person that you feel either safe or unsafe with them. Be honest and straightforward. Reality is best. Reality is healing.
ISSUE - The Massage Therapist's Responsibility
The bodywork therapist is also responsible for the effects of her treatment with any of her clients. A bodywork therapist should not think of themselves as just giving a good massage. The effect on the client is also their responsibility.
Thus I have counseled therapists on the issue: can you as a therapist handle this behavior on the part of a client and work with it to some resolution?
If you are a real therapist of course you want to take on challenges and handle every situation. But can you?
Working on the body is often a temptation to be or feel sexual. Relationships have started up between client and therapist, and always will, such is the human condition.
It is important to keep the therapeutic situation non-sexual, unless you are trained in sexual massage therapy and can practice this form, certainly a developing form in Europe and even America, despite repressive attitudes everywhere.
Thus our advice is to keep defining your boundaries as a massage therapist. It will not be just acting out sexuality that you will sometimes be dealing with. Other clients may be more into anger and you will have to structure your relation to this other great instinct as well.
We have raised some issues here. Instead of giving rigid rules we have explored the issues in terms of their human meaning and trying to be the best massage therapist you can be. You know full well it is more natural than unnatural to face the issues of human sexual feelings and expression inherent to living in a body, your body, and the bodies of your clients.
When faced with unusual or intense situations in your practice, do your best to bring the dynamics into reality.
The Man Who Never Came Back - Some Questions
Remember the man who used spontaneous orgasms to seduce?
Was he then just a seducer, using as his field of available women female massage therapists, some of whom might well be seduced by his genital expression?
He exhibited seductive innuendoes in his conversation.
Or did he simply get the point that maybe he could get over his fascination with his own behavior and seek intimacy with a sexual partner he also ate dinner with, showered with, and slept in bed with.
For in the end much of sexual expression is the expression of the need for bonding and intimacy with another human being. The goal of most massage therapy is not simply bodily expression but body-awareness that is relaxing, pleasurable most of the time, and balanced in its expression, sex, sports, sensual expression, caring, anger expression, whatever.
Why do we all mostly seek sexual expression?
Ah, you want to know everything, don't you?
So do I!
Right now I am working with the concept that at essence we are all seeking sexually to have tremendously intensified sexual experiences to know and to maximize our experience of existing.
We exist but we want to know that directly as experience of existing.
But more on that elsewhere!
Feel free to visit our web sites and explore.
Bexley Female Massage
Every one of us has more busy schedule these days and our lives have become more and more demanding on our time. Our daily routine has become filled with more responsibilities and today's society produces a lot of pressure and stress that we have to cope with on a daily basis. As a result we tend to be more prone to a health problems and we are unable to enjoy the quality of life that is near at hand to get the most out of our lives.
There are many ways how to enjoy a healthy lifestyle and the most important is to choose the combination that we can enjoy, because it's in the human nature not to persist in the activities that we are uncomfortable with. One of the recommended ways that have been around us for centuries is a massage. Massage, as a manipulation of body's soft tissues (muscle, tendons and ligaments) in order to achieve a specific positive effect on human's body and mind, is not only a good remedy but it's also a very effective way of prevention against many health problems. Massage can help us to get rid of our daily dose of stress and the human body, mind and soul can benefit from it in many ways.
Everyone of us is an individual with the genuine needs and desires. Each one of us has different preferences and thus we shouldn't forget the option of outcall massage service when we are deciding on how and where to enjoy our next therapeutic massage treatment.
Happy Ending Massage in Bexley
If you have ever enjoyed a Tantric massage, then you are probably aware that almost all sessions start with breathing exercises. The Tantric breathing techniques can be used in a number of different ways as an introduction to a wonderful and relaxing massage or a way of prolonging and heightening the pleasure of sex. Similar to Yoga, some of the breathing methods could be used as a way to begin a new day with a new and open mind and establish a connection between our inner and outer being.
The simplest Tantra breathing exercise that you can practice on your own is to inhale and exhale from each nostril five times and repeat the exercise anywhere from three to five times, until you feel that your lungs and passages are open and you feel invigorated. Start by sitting comfortably, close your left nostril with your left thumb and breathe in and out five times, where each inhalation and exhalation lasts for approximately five seconds. Once completed, do the same exercise and breath in and out with the other nostril, keeping the in and out breaths lasting also five seconds.
Other Tantric breathing exercises are only practiced with a partner and are typically combined with gazing, and are an introduction to a massage session. If you want to learn these simple, yet extremely powerful techniques, then you could enroll to a Tantra class, visit a massage center, or practice them with your partner. Typically the partners face each other, with their hands placed on the other person's knee or hands, and the session begins with "soul gazing," breathing, and relaxation that can help you see "beyond" the physical and reduce your self-awareness. The duration is normally anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes and the exercise might feel unusual at first, but only after a week, you are likely to appreciate its power.
Tantric breathing is also used as a way to learn how to practice Tantric sex, which is prolonged, more sensual, and far more satisfying sex than you have ever imagined. It combines prolonged foreplay with sensual touching and slow lovemaking, which is likely to leave both partners completely satisfied and recharged. Taking deep in and out breaths could help both partners completely chase away any negative thoughts and worries, which is essential for enjoying the physical bond and relationship that they have.
Bexley Erotic Female Massage
Why massage oil?
A lot of people think grabbing some hand cream or body lotion would do just fine for a massage, or worse (shudder) doing a "dry" massage. If you want this erotic massage to actually reach the erotic point, you need real massage oil; something that will absorb a bit into the skin, soften it, but also allow you to keep smooth, steady movements with your massage.
You also want your massage oil to be something that you use only for erotic massage. You want to get to the point where you can take a whiff of the oil and have your body ready to rumble. You want to walk into the room the next day, catch the merest leftover scent of the massage oil, and smile at the memory of what you did in that room the night before. You want to put one small drop of that massage oil behind your ear, so that when you and your partner are out on the town, at a party or a business meeting, maybe in a restaurant, he'll catch the scent as it wafts past him, and drive him insane until he can get you alone. Lubriderm cream is not going to do that for you!
But let's back up a bit here, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
A Brief History
Oils and aromatherapy have been around for a long time. Just look in the Bible. Remember when Mary Magdalene anointed Jesus' feet? Not only was she applying essential oils, but was doing so through massage. Mary knew the power of massage. It's a way to relax, relieve stress, show interest, and "rev the motor", so to speak.
Oils have been around a lot longer than Biblical times, though. About 2700 years before the birth of Christ, the Chinese were using herbs and burning oils.
The Egyptians used oils in the mummification process, then eventually applied the same herbs and oils to everyday life. In fact, Cleopatra used the exotic and erotic Jasmine oil to distract Marc Antony during business meetings (Ladies, take note!).
In India, practitioners of ayurveda, a form of medical therapy, employed the use of aromatherapy and massage. Greeks used oils for aromatherapy, cosmetics, and medicine. Romans utilized the oils after baths, and the Aztec had a vast array of herbs and plants. In 980 AD, in the Far East, the art of distilling alcohol led to the development of more modern-day perfumes.
I believe it wouldn't be too far-reaching to say that nearly every culture at one time or another took advantage of nature's resources and used oils and massage.
How Do They Work?
Essential oils work in at several ways. First, and probably most obvious, is scent. The nose is an incredible organ. Ever notice how a fleeting aroma wafting across the street can take you back in time 20 years, to when you first encountered that smell? You can recall that instant in time in vivid detail; much more detail, in fact, than a photograph could bring back. Have you ever encountered a scent that reminded you of a particular person? Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone and not known why, only to find out later it was the scent he or she was wearing that aroused your interest? There are good reasons for that. The nose is directly hardwired to the brain.
When a scent is inhaled, the particles of the aroma are picked up by nerve endings at the back of the nose. The signal is then passed up to the brain, specifically to the limbic system.
The limbic system is home of the hypothalamus, which in turn houses the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland, among other things, is responsible for hormone release. See where I'm going with this?
Nose - to - limbic system - to - hypothalamus - to - pituitary gland - to - hormone release
There are different neurochemicals that are triggered by smell and cause mood changes. The first one is familiar to just about everyone- endorphine. Endorphin is the body's natural high. Endorphines are most commonly associated with pain control. Everyone has heard of the person who is shot and doesn't know it, or the person who has broken a limb and feels no pain. Thank the great hormone endorphine for that! Endorphines are actually stronger than morphine, which is probably why the word breaks down as "endo", which means "within", and "phin", which means "morphine"; literally the word means "the morphine within."
But pain control isn't the only job of endorphines. Elevated levels of this hormone is seen after exercise and sex, as well. It's associated with feelings of invicibility, satisfaction, calmness, and attunement with the body.
The other neurochemical triggered by smell is serotonin. Serotonin is a calming hormone. It is associated with sleep, mood, locomotion, feeding, and anxiety.
Is it any wonder that aromatherapy is a great way to relax, calm, and entice?
So, now the nose has picked up on the scents of the oil and has triggered a mad rush of hormones through the body. That, you may say, is a temporary state. One could get used to the scent of the oil and it will have less impact, or over the course of an evening the effects of the hormones will dissipate. But there's more. The oils are also absorbed in the fat cells, and when essential oils are used in massage, whether erotic or not, the medicinal components of the herbs are also availed. Combine that with the effects of the massage itself -stimulation of circulation and heat production, not to mention relaxation of tense muscles - and you have an excellent vehicle through which to completely spoil your partner with luxury.
Introduction to Essential Oils
I personally believe that massage using essential oils is one of the most erotic feelings in life. As I said before, the massage itself, along with the scents, is magical enough, but what I think really makes massage with essential oils so special is the care that is being shown by the masseuse.
When you partner takes the time to select, mix, and then apply oils to your body, he or she is telling you that you are worth the time. Your partner is telling you that you're worth spoiling, worth pampering, and that he or she thinks you're beautiful.
Psychologically, essential oils and massage do as much for the soul as the actually physical benefits, which are no small things.
The main focus of this composition is information on essential oils used for massage. Keep in mind that all these oils are used for other medicinal reasons and in other ways than massage. For our purposes, though, I will try to keep the information on massage oils, erotic and otherwise.
At the end of this report you'll find a small guide to different oils, their basic scents, and their attributes in regards to massage, as well as good base oils to use in your mixture.
A Word of Caution
My favorite base oil is almond oil, but there are a surprisingly large number of people allergic to nuts. DO NOT USE ALMOND OIL WITH ANYONE WHO HAS A NUT ALLERGY! You want to send your partner into throes of passion, not the emergency room with anaphylactic shock.
When choosing the essential oils for your massage oil:
• Pick just a few; you don't want a mishmash of aromas.
• Make sure the essential oils, as well as the base oil, are not only edible, but tastes good and are not harmful to mucous membrane.
• Be aware of the properties of the essential oils you use. Some may heat up, which can be a lot of fun, but might be a little intense for some people. Some are astringent, some can raise blood pressure, and some just taste horrible.
• This may sound like a "duh" statement, but find out what your partner likes. If your partner absolutely hates mints, then massage oil made with peppermint is not going to put him in the mood for love.
There are a few things to keep in mind when blending oils. First and foremost is many essential oils have medicinal properties and should be used with caution, especially during pregnancy.
After the list of oils and their attributes at the end of this narrative, there will be a list of oils to avoid during pregnancy, some of which may not be listed in the list of oil attributes.
The second thing to keep in mind is that oils should never be applied directly to the skin, unless you have been instructed to do so by an experienced aromatherapist. Base oil must always be used. You want to use about 5 to 6 drops of essential oil for every 10 mL of base oil you use. That comes out to about 15 or so drops of essential oil per liter of base oil.
Oils should be stored in a dark glass bottle - never plastic. You will usually find oils stored in amber-colored bottles or blue ones. Avoid rubber stoppers for your oil bottles. The oils can eat through the rubber.
And speaking of oils eating through rubber, latex condoms will degrade in the presence of oil. Again, your Jimmy hat will not be of any use if you use oils as a sexual lubricant, which is bound to happen during an erotic massage. There are condoms made from plastics that can withstand the presence of oil, so read labels before you buy! Okay, I'm going to reiterate, since I don't want anyone blaming me if Junior is born 9 months from now: DO NOT USE LATEX CONDOMS WITH OIL LUBRICANTS, AS THE OIL CAN CAUSE THE CONDOM TO BREAK!
Store the oils in a cool dry place. If stored correctly, the oils should last a year or so.
After mixing your oils, let your mixture sit for a day or so, or at least a few hours, and then go back and smell it again. You might find that the finished product smells a little different from when you first put it up. You can adjust your mixture accordingly. Play around with the oils, find a mixture that smells good to you and experiment with it. If you added 3 drops of sandalwood and 1 drop of chamomile one time, the next time you might want to try 2 drops of each, instead.
By the way, the combination of sandalwood and chamomile is an excellent relaxing oil mixture.
In general, men tend to enjoy spicy, woody smells, while women are known for favoring floral scents. A blend of both, then, would be an ideal massage oil that would please both partners in a heterosexual relationship. This, however, is a general statement. I'm a woman, and I prefer the spicy aromas over the floral ones, and I know some men who love the scent of some flowers. Regardless, for him/her relationships try a mixture of jasmine and sandalwood (both very erotic oils), or rose and frankincense.
Men like scents such as cinnamon, ginger, clove, nutmeg, and coriander. Women seem to lean towards aromas such as rose, jasmine, nerolis, and ylang-ylang. But, like I said before, this is a generality and the real fun comes from finding what you and your partner enjoy.
My all-time favorite massage oil is a combination of lavender oil, clove oil, cinnamon, peppermint, and rosemary oil, in a base of sweet almond oil. This blend not only smells awesome, but also produces just a touch of heat that can really drive you wild. It also tastes great!
You might want to try these other combinations:
- For relaxation try clary sage, lavender, and lemon. Chamomile is excellent for sleep, so try a mixture of chamomile and sandalwood, or chamomile and lavender to help you relax.
- Ginger and, believe it or not, black pepper, are great for sore, achy muscles.
- For an uplifting massage, try a blend of lemon, mint, and geranium. How about bergamot, peppermint, and lemon? Lavender, orange, and peppermint is a very cooling combination, as well, and gives a nice floral scent.
- For romance there are several mixtures you can try. Bergamot, sandalwood, and jasmine for one. The Kama Sutra recommends jasmine and grapefruit. Ylang-ylang, lavender, grapefruit, lemon, and neroli are also great together. If you're really ambitious, go for a combination of rosewood, neroli, lavender, thyme, and cinnamon or clove.
- Trouble sleeping? Try lemon, marjoram, and vetiver.
Please keep in mind that all these oils have many attributes, and this is by no means a complete list of essential oils. I've picked these oils for their relaxing, sensual, or refreshing qualities. An asterisk after an entry means that that particular essential oil is not recommended for use during pregnancy.
In general, it is a good idea to always consult with an herbalist, doctor, midwife, aromatherapist, or other healthcare practitioner before using any essential oil medicinally. There will be a more complete list of oils to avoid after this entry.
Essential oils that are underlined are particularly known for their sensual attributes. If you notice, most of the "aphrodisiac" essential oils have euphoric and calming effects. This makes sense, as a calm and content state of mind is essential for a good sensual encounter. Combine these erotic oils with those promoting muscle relaxation, and you have a massage partner that is calm, relaxed, and ready for more action.
- Bergamot - Citrus bergamia - This oil has the aroma of bergamot orange that is slightly floral. A very refreshing scent. It is also known as Oswego tea and bee balm. This oil is good for depression, tension, and stress.
- Bos-de-Rose - Aniba rosaeodora - A sweet, floral, woody scent that relieves stress, headache, and depression.
- Cedarwood* - Cedrus atlantica - You will find this a scent that is dry, woody, and sweet. It soothes and calms. Great for arthritis and stress.
- Chamomile* - Matricana chamomila - This oil has a fruity, herbal essence with a myriad of uses. Not only is it great for your hair, it is also wonderful for insomnia, anxiety, neuralgia, burns, pain of rheumatism, gout, sores, sprains, inflamed skin, strains, stress, and nerves, and gives a sense of peace and calm.
- Cinnamon* - Cinnamonum zelanicum - I'm sure everyone has smelled the comforting aroma of cinnamon in apple pie, but I bet you didn't know it is a wonderful essential oil for exhaustion, stress, and rheumatism. Cinnamon may be a mucus membrane irritant, as are the other spices, so keep that in mind when making oils intended for erotic massage. You might want to use just a small amount in you blend.
- Citronella* - Cymbopogon nardus - This oil has a lovely citrus odor. I'm sure everyone is familiar with its insect-repellent attributes, but it's also a great tonic for headache and fatigue.
- Clary Sage* - Salvia sclarea - This oil with a nutty fragrance helps fortify a debilitated nervous system. It is also a euphoric and has sensual properties. Some sources site clary sage as being a uterine stimulant, so this must be kept in mind in the case of pregnancy.
- Clove* - Eugenia caryophyllata - Clove is a wonderful analgesic; just ask anyone who's used it for a toothache. It also has antiseptic properties and is excellent for arthritis pains, as well as sprains and strains. This oil may cause mucus membranes irritation, so again, be wary. In my own personal use of this essential oil, I've not found it to be irritating to mucus membranes, but everyone is different and perceives sensations differently.
- Cypress - Cupressus sempervirens - A woody aroma that helps with mental and emotional resolve, as well as rheumatism and varicose veins.
- Frankincense - Buswellia thurifera - This gift from the magi has a heady, spicy aroma. It encourages feelings of peace and wellbeing, calms, deepens breathing, and eases nerves and tension. I liked to use this oil or the resin itself when my children are fearful of boogey men and monsters. When I burn frankincense, I can feel it in my spine. The aroma evokes feelings of safety, and may even chase away evil spirits!
- Geranium* - Pelargonium graveolens - An essential oil with a floral scent. It's good for depression and nerves; helps to relax. It also benefits the nervous system and women who suffer from PMS.
- Ginger - Zingiber officinale - Ginger has a spicy aroma that for me calms and soothes. My midwife uses ginger in boiling water during births to soothe the laboring mother. She also uses the ginger water to relax the skin. Ginger improves circulation; it's great for cold hands and feet, so try it in a tub or footbath. It helps with muscle aches and pains, as well as arthritis.
- Grapefruit - Citrus paradisi - This oil, with an obvious citrus aroma, is used for depression and migraine, and as a tonic aid in drug withdrawal. It is a good choice if you're looking for a refreshing scent.
- Hops - Humulus lupus - Hops is the ingredient in beer that acts as a sedative. Marijuana, which also causes sedation, is a relative of hops. Hops is an analgesic and helps neuralgia, nervous tension, bruising, and insomnia. It's also a skin softener.
- Jasmine - Jasminum officinale - This oil has an erotic floral scent. This night-blooming flower eases anxiety and lethargy, while relaxing and calming.
- Juniper* - Juniperus communis - With an earthy, woody scent, juniper clears the emotions and relaxes. It's also good for cellulitis and rheumatism.
- Lavender - Lavendula augustiform - This oil has a warm floral aroma. It is a relaxant, easing nervous tension, headaches, neuralgia, and muscle aches and pains from rheumatism, and gives a sense of tranquility. It also works wonders on burns, though I do not recommend using the undiluted oil on damaged skin, and before using any oil medicinally, it's a good idea to check with an aromatherapist, herbalist, midwife, or naturopath.
- Lemon - Citrus limonum - A lemony aroma, of course, that refreshes and cools. It's great for nerves, varicose veins, and high blood pressure. Anyone who has had a tall glass of ice water with a twist of lemon on a hot summer's day or while feverish can attest to the cooling, soothing qualities of lemon.
- Lemongrass - Cymbopogon citratus - Citrus. Wonderful for muscle aches, headaches, and stress.
- Lime - Citrus aurantifolia - Another oil with a sweet citrus odor. Great for high blood pressure, rheumatism, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and varicose veins. It revitalizes, too.
- Mandarin - Citrus noblis - An oil with a fruity citrus essence that relieves stress and nervousness, as well as eases insomnia with its tranquilizing effects.
- Marjoram* - Origanum marjorana - This essential oil has a spicy, woody aroma that is helpful with bruises, PMS, anxiety, insomnia, muscle aches, circulation, neuralgia, rheumatism, sprains, and strains.
- Melissa - Melissa officinalis - Also known as lemon balm, it calms nerves and lifts spirits. Its sedative affect helps with depression and insomnia. It's also good for eczema.
- Myrrh* - Commiphora myrrha - This aroma is woody and earthy, and has wonderful calming affects. It is also used as gargles and mouth rinses for those suffering from gingival problems, but this should be done only under the direction of any herbalist, and the oil never applied directly to the mucus membranes.
- Neroli - Citrus bigaradia - This oil has the essence of blossom of bitter orange. It eases depression, anxiety, and hysteria, as well as nervous tension. It promotes peace and encourages sleep, but is also known for its seductive qualities.
- Nutmeg* - Myristica fragrans - This woody, spicy oil works wonders for arthritis, aching muscles, neuralgia, rheumatism, and poor circulation.
- Orange - Citrus aurantium - Bitter orange, with its citrus aroma, is good for depression, anxiety, stress, dull skin, and muscle spasms.
- Palmarosa - Cymbopogon martini - This refreshing, floral aroma helps with exhaustion, skin infections, and dull skin.
- Patchouli - Pogostemon patchouli - With its musky odor, it lends itself as a sensual essential oil. It is also useful for skin inflammation, fatigue, mature skin, stress, and hair care.
- Peppermint - Mentha piperata - A cooling, refreshing minty aroma is the characteristic of this oil. It is also known for its benefits for inflammation, and migraine, and where it is applied it has an anesthetic affect that increases blood flow. Like the other mints, though, it may cause mucus membrane irritation.
- Rose - Rosa gallica officinalis - A light floral aroma helps to ease tension, depression, and anxiety. It is a "love oil" that is also an excellent tonic for the reproductive organs. Rose also aids in the treatment of eczema and mature skin.
- Rosemary* - Rosmarinus officinalis - This oil has an herbal, woody aroma. It, too, is a "love oil", but also helps with headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, sprains, nerves, and rheumatism. This is one of the best oils for your hair.
- Rosewood - Aniba Rosaeodora - This floral scent promotes comfort and eases depression. It relaxes sore muscles. It is also known as lemongrass.
- Sandalwood - Santalum album - This wood-scented oil is known as a sexual stimulant. It helps the user to focus on the here and now, enjoying the moment rather than worrying about what could have been; enabling the user to fully enjoy his or her present situation and partner. It is also a sedative that helps with depression and PMS.
- Thyme* - Thymus vulgaris (as well as T. serpyllum and T. pulegioides) - This plant possesses a fresh, herbal aroma. It strengthens nerves, eases exhaustion and rheumatic pains, and soothes muscle aches and arthritis. - Ylang-ylang - Canagna odorata - This oil has an exotic, floral odor that eases stress, anxiety, and high blood pressure. It's a general tonic that is also well known for its sensual properties.
- Sweet Almond - This oil can be used 100%. This is my favorite oil to use as a base. It's light in texture and color, and has the added benefit of helping with itching, dryness, soreness, and inflammation.
- Apricot Kernel - This oil, too, can be used undiluted. It's good for sensitive skin and dry skin.
- Avocado - This oil should be used at only 10% (90% should be another oil, such as sweet almond). This base oil is rather heavy and leaves a waxy feel on the skin.
- Avocado Pear - Again, though this oil is good for dry skin, it should be used at 10% and mixed with another base oil.
- Borage Seed - Another 10% oil that should be mixed. It's good for premature aging, stimulation and regeneration of skin, multiple sclerosis, menopause, heart disease, and eczema.
- Cocoa Butter - This needs to be warmed, as it is solid at room temperature, but it is excellent for dry skin.
- Corn Oil - This oil can be used 100% and is good for all skin types. It's rather heavy, but also soothing.
- Hazelnut - This oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types. It is also an astringent.
- Jojoba - This base should be diluted to 10%. It's a wonderful help in psoriasis, acne, and inflamed skin, but can be used on all skin types. It's also good for the hair.
- Peanut Oil - Edgar Casey sang the wonders of this oil. He recommended it for all types of ailments. Peanut oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types, but be aware that it has a very strong aroma of peanuts and can feel quite heavy on the skin.
- Safflower - This can be used undiluted and for all skin types.
- Sesame Oil - This should be diluted to 10%, but is wonderful on all skin types. It is especially useful for psoriasis, eczema, and arthritis. It also has a strong aroma, though, so smell it before trying it. - Soya Bean - Another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types. - Sunflower oil - Again, another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types.
- Wheat germ - While good for psoriasis, prematurely aging skin, and eczema, as well as all skin types, it should be used at 10%.
Remember, use only 5 to 6 drops of essential oil per 10 mL of base oil. This is the total amount. You can combine oils, of course, but in total your essential oils should not exceed the 5 to 6 drops mentioned above.
Pregnancy and Essential Oils
Some essential oils may be uterine stimulants or have other effects that are contraindicated in pregnancy. While this list is pretty close to complete, there's no way I can be sure I got everything down. In any case, when pregnant, it is always good to check with a midwife, herbalist, or aromatherapist before using any particular essential oil. While some oils are not advised during early pregnancy, some may actually be beneficial in the last trimester or during labor.
• Clary sage
*Some sources site rosemary as being contraindicated in pregnancy, while others claim there is no reason it can't be used. All I can say is to research the herb yourself, talk to some herbalists, and make your own decision.
If allergic to nuts, avoid base oils that contain nuts, such as sweet almond oil, hazelnut oil, and peanut oil. This may seem an obvious thing to do, but there are some people that will assume because the oil is not being ingested, that it is safe. Unless you've had an anaphylactic reaction to nuts, you couldn't possible understand the need to be extremely careful with these oils.
If you suffer from high blood pressure, avoid hyssop, rosemary, sage, and thyme. Licorice is also known to elevate the blood pressure, but it's not often used as a massage oil!
Diabetics should avoid angelica.
For those of you who enjoy tanning beds or outdoor tanning, you should avoid bergamot, lemon, grapefruit, ginger, lime, orange, and the other citruses. These can make you hypersensitive to ultraviolet waves.
Oils to be avoided in general are:
• Bitter almond
• Boldo leaf
• Deadly nightshade
• Jaborandi leaf
• Southern wood
• Stinging nettle
• Yellow camphor
In closing, I want to encourage you all to experiment with essential oils and erotic massage. The skin is the largest human organ; take full advantage of it!
As you experiment with more and more combinations, finding the ones that are right for you in each particular circumstance, you will not only find that you are pleasing you partner in much deeper ways, but you are also learning something about yourself. To honestly enjoying giving pleasure to your partner is what will make you a good lover, and a memorable one. When I think about my lover, it's his hands that come to mind before anything else. Even as I type I can feel his hands on my neck, massaging the stress of computer work away!
Slow down, enjoy your senses, and enjoy each other.
"And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take."