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Tantric massage is oriental sensual massage. A sensual massage technique teaches you secret of enjoying your intimate private moments with your partner.
You may take massage in a massage parlor to get our daily tension or to get relieve from acute back pain.
Massage can be a highly sensual experience for couples provided its practice In the right circumstances, with a softly lit room, relaxing music, and using some essential aromatic oils or lotions. Foreplay with tantric massage techniques relaxes the body, arouses the senses, and can bring you and your partner closer together.
You can add variety by using various massage accessories that are readily available today. An aromated massage oils not only stimulate the endocrine system to release relaxing endorphins, but allows a smoother massage to be given as they remove friction between your hands and your partner's skin
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Nakedness and what it evokes is a real issue for bodywork therapists, especially female therapists because of how some clients, men or women, will use the massage session to display sexual behavior.
For this article we are not dealing with how bodywork therapists and massage persons can attempt sexuality with their clients, but only about clients displaying sexuality during the session.
I speak as a former Licensed Marriage, Family and Child Relationships counselor in the State of California, USA. I have done bodywork myself as part of the therapy I do. I have had many years of bodywork done with me, as well as a number of training courses in bodywork therapy.
I speak from counseling massage therapists in my own practice. I also am familiar with psychotherapy for sexual uses, including therapeutic sexual massage that is effective.
Sexual massage is more practiced outside the United States than in the States because of severe sexuality issues and attitudes in the United States differing from Canada and Europe.
Here is a sexual issue example:
A man asks the woman massage therapist over the phone: do you include the genitals in your massage work? This is rather direct. The presenting problem may be more, do you work with sexual problems as part of your massage work?
How is a male or female massage therapist to respond? Is this a sexual come-on? Or is this a cry for help?
A massage therapist comfortable with their own sexuality may be willing to take on a client who does have sexual problems. Many females are upset that they cannot orgasm. Males may easily get erections, but while in a woman be unable to orgasm.
It would be unusual indeed if at least half the people who come in for massage treatment do not have sexual problems. What is the massage body-worker to do?
Some forms of massage do include massaging the naked body of the client, with a towel over the pelvic region or not. Other forms work with light clothing on and consist more of stretching movements.
Rolfing works with the naked body so as to see the alignment. There is hardly a chance in this form to feel pleasure responses because Rolfing itself is to break up muscles and facia that have been emotionally tense for years, and so the work can be extremely painful.
It is rare that a male client will directly attack a female massage therapist, but it is still considered good practice not to give massage to persons you do not know fairly well in places where you have no protection should you need to call for help.
WARNING - It is the generally accepted practice to never work alone with a massage client in a building alone. Always work were there is someone who knows you within calling distance. Work where your live-in partner is at home next room over, or in a building with other therapists or businesses.
Once I did a screaming session with a member of a therapy group in a new place and the motor car salesmen and manager from downstairs came running up and loudly banged on the door. They thought someone was being murdered. We had not told them yet that we did therapy with people!
Of course a male client may not tell you he has sexual problems on the phone, but just come in and then tell you.
ISSUE EXAMPLE - The Man Who Spontaneously Orgasmed
- Was this on purpose? And how should the therapist handle it?
One female massage therapist reported to me about a male client who would get an erection every time and have spontaneous orgasm. She never touched his genitals. She had to have a box of tissues nearby so that he could clean himself up. This was Essalen massage combined with Shiatsu pressure-point massage, which deals especially with freeing blocks in the body.
The male client did not try to have sex with her or get her to touch his genitals. Was this a genuine case of being too orgasmic? What would be the best treatment?
I advised her to instruct her male client to practice full-body awareness as he was being massaged.
Indeed, a chief value for anyone being massaged in many different styles of massage is to relax totally into sensual, bodily awareness. Some fall asleep during this relaxation, which is not necessarily healing for the client but acceptable.
For this male client orgasming he was either impressed with his ability to orgasm spontaneously without touching himself, and needed a female to witness this, or he was indeed a seducer. However, what if he simply was by nature a spontaneous orgasm type male?
Let's deal with seducers first!
Men who fixate on being seducers are only interested in getting a female so open to them through their ways of seduction that they do succeed with having intercourse with her.
Thus some men have developed a seduction technique and try to make it work to perfection on female massage therapists. They are not interested in an ongoing life relationship. They want only seduction and conquest and are willing to pay the massage fees to set up these kinds of situations.
To my knowledge with the female massage therapists I have known, they were never trained through role-playing in how to handle seductive clients.
The massage therapist should keep a massage session always on a professional level with a client, not just for reality reasons of keeping one's license to practice, but to keep the massage situation objective and therapeutic.
With the man who spontaneously orgasmed while his body was being massaged he was emotionally and physically too focused on his erect penis and its ability to display and spray sperm.
So what, we might say. The therapist has to accept many peculiarities with clients, whether it is a massage session or not.
I also counseled the massage therapist to take the first five or ten minutes to talk objectively about the client and his behavior. How does it feel to orgasm here? Are you making it happen? Is it spontaneous? What happens with your own lovers?
These simple questions make the client an object of treatment. They de-potentiate the session of its potential sexuality. The female therapist asserts her professional role as a helper and not a partner. Things are kept within structure. The client is made to feel responsible for his own behavior.
In this real-life example, when my friend, the massage person, made the massage sessions objective as suggested, the man stopped coming. The object to seduce the therapist was no longer possible.
Of course, unconsciously, some do get fixated on seducing mother or father substitutes as a way of 'getting back, getting even,' an unconscious power-play that makes the seducer feel dominant in self-esteem, whether truly so or not.
ISSUE - EXAMPLE - The Man Who Spontaneously Orgasmed During Massage Who Was Not A Professional Seducer
The first edition of this article has in its first year been tremendously popular, and as author I have wondered why. Could it be that there are enough men and some women out there who do spontaneously orgasm while receiving a massage? One concerned man about the first edition of this article thought it implied that someone who spontaneously orgasmed was a seducer.
I thank him for giving his concern and I revise this article here to make it clear that for those who spontaneously orgasm, male or female, IT MAY BE A SOCIAL PROBLEM, BUT IT IS NOT WRONG, NOR EVEN A SEXUAL PROBLEM. NOR SHOULD YOU BE CONSIDERED A SEXUAL SEDUCER OR PERVERT.
Sorry for the implications I made in my original article. And many thanks to the reader who voiced his concern with me.
I would suggest that all massage body-workers have paper tissues, or even clean hand towels available, if a male or female spontaneously orgasms. Approach such a situation with positive feeling, acceptance and awareness.
"Oh, it looks like you have had a spontaneous orgasm. Don't worry about it here. Massage is meant as relaxing, and sometimes this happens, and can happen with most anyone. Would you prefer paper tissue or a hand towel to clean yourself up."
"I feel ashamed to do it in front of you. It just happens . . ."
"We can talk about it if you like. Massage is for knowing your body better and accepting it. Relaxing and letting go is a process of self-awareness and accepting your own body."
"Thanks, I'll take the towel. Maybe if you don't look for a moment."
"Why does it happen?"
"Try not to stay in your head as you receive my massage. To let go means letting go control, and that may mean pleasure feelings start happening, including with your genitals. If you feel an orgasm rising, just say so to me as I massage you, and see what happens. You are learning self-acceptance of your body."
"Does that mean you will massage my genitals?"
"I don't do genital work in directly touching your genitals. But I am certainly not against your having orgasms as part of your process. Are we clear? Or do you have any questions still?"
"Let's get on with it."
FOR THE CLIENT WHO SPONTANEOUSLY ORGASMS
Of course, it is your process that is important, however it happens. But why not pre-select the massage body-workers you work with?
Simply tell them on the phone, or in person is better, that you sometimes spontaneously orgasm and it embarrasses you. Ask that person you are meeting for the first time, how they might handle such a situation with you. Then make your decision on the spot, saying you will try out a session or not. You are buying the service. It is your right and necessity to feel safe with the person you work with.
Tell that person that you feel either safe or unsafe with them. Be honest and straightforward. Reality is best. Reality is healing.
ISSUE - The Massage Therapist's Responsibility
The bodywork therapist is also responsible for the effects of her treatment with any of her clients. A bodywork therapist should not think of themselves as just giving a good massage. The effect on the client is also their responsibility.
Thus I have counseled therapists on the issue: can you as a therapist handle this behavior on the part of a client and work with it to some resolution?
If you are a real therapist of course you want to take on challenges and handle every situation. But can you?
Working on the body is often a temptation to be or feel sexual. Relationships have started up between client and therapist, and always will, such is the human condition.
It is important to keep the therapeutic situation non-sexual, unless you are trained in sexual massage therapy and can practice this form, certainly a developing form in Europe and even America, despite repressive attitudes everywhere.
Thus our advice is to keep defining your boundaries as a massage therapist. It will not be just acting out sexuality that you will sometimes be dealing with. Other clients may be more into anger and you will have to structure your relation to this other great instinct as well.
We have raised some issues here. Instead of giving rigid rules we have explored the issues in terms of their human meaning and trying to be the best massage therapist you can be. You know full well it is more natural than unnatural to face the issues of human sexual feelings and expression inherent to living in a body, your body, and the bodies of your clients.
When faced with unusual or intense situations in your practice, do your best to bring the dynamics into reality.
The Man Who Never Came Back - Some Questions
Remember the man who used spontaneous orgasms to seduce?
Was he then just a seducer, using as his field of available women female massage therapists, some of whom might well be seduced by his genital expression?
He exhibited seductive innuendoes in his conversation.
Or did he simply get the point that maybe he could get over his fascination with his own behavior and seek intimacy with a sexual partner he also ate dinner with, showered with, and slept in bed with.
For in the end much of sexual expression is the expression of the need for bonding and intimacy with another human being. The goal of most massage therapy is not simply bodily expression but body-awareness that is relaxing, pleasurable most of the time, and balanced in its expression, sex, sports, sensual expression, caring, anger expression, whatever.
Why do we all mostly seek sexual expression?
Ah, you want to know everything, don't you?
So do I!
Right now I am working with the concept that at essence we are all seeking sexually to have tremendously intensified sexual experiences to know and to maximize our experience of existing.
We exist but we want to know that directly as experience of existing.
But more on that elsewhere!
Feel free to visit our web sites and explore.
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I guess the majority of us have heard about Tantric sex and massage. Had anyone asked me what it was exactly I would have giggled shyly and muttered something about gentle touching, feathers, massage and no orgasm. How wrong I was.
Tantric massage is basically just a massage. However it was created from the belief that if you are sexually happy and relaxed then your health will benefit. The Hindus describe Tantra as achieving personal growth through pleasurable existence. The massage itself does tend to cause orgasms, but these are described as a bonus rather than the aim.
Although Tantric massage does not involve actual penetrative sex, it does involve full on touching of the organs. For this reason you will not find it offered down your local health centre. You are far more likely to find it on offer in the many massage parlours in London and other major cities.
If you want to have a go with her or him indoors here is a pretty basic guide to Tantric massage.
Firstly, from this point on, your manhood is referred to as Lingam (wand of light - don't be thinking light sabre it's not that big!) and the lady's bits are called Yoni (sacred space or sacred temple). Let's face it those words sound much nicer than the alternatives.
If you are visiting somewhere for your massage you need to decide in advance whether you will be getting naked or not. Proper Tantric masseuse prefer you to be naked, they believe this helps the healing process all over your body. If you are shy you can choose to keep some clothes on, I am guessing you will want to cover your Lingam or your Yoni. If you are at home with the missus or the husband, get your kit off and turn the heating up.
Choose some gentle music (whale music is optional). Now banish all thoughts of kneading your lover all over until she or he begs for mercy. It's not that kind of massage. Make your lover lie on his or her back, legs apart and a cushion under the hips to raise up the Yoni/Lingam area and a cushion under the head so they can look at their genitals. Explain that although there will not be any penetrative sex this evening you will take them to previously unknown heights of sexual satisfaction. It may help to convince them if you do not print off this article and place it next to them on the bed. Choose your lubricant wisely; chocolate body sauce has no place here.
The massage itself involves every part of the body, although I guess the Yoni/Lingam area will receive more than its fair share of attention. The massaging of the body is to help prepare the receiver for the attention you will be paying their genitals.
Pour a small amount of oil on to the mound of the Yoni, just enough so it drips down the outer lips. Massage each outer lip slowly between thumb and forefinger, sliding up and down the entire length of the lip. Only ask your lover if the pressure is too much or not enough. Try to look into their eyes during the massage and ensure she can see what you are doing. Do the same for the inner lips of the Yoni. Take your time and watch your lover relax.
The jewel in the crown is the clitoris. Four times more sensitive that your Lingam so take it easy here. Begin by gently stroking it in a clockwise and anti-clockwise direction and squeeze it gently between your thumb and index finger. The missus will be well and truly fired up by now but try not to allow an orgasm just yet, let the sensations build. If it becomes too much, just back off a bit and encourage her to breathe deeply. Now insert the middle finger of your right hand (I can't remember why it has to be the right one but I shouldn't think it would cause too much trouble if you need to use your left instead.) and gently feel around inside continuing to massage gently.
With your palm facing upwards and your middle finger buried in the Yoni, bend your finger back towards the palm and you should feel a spongy area just under the pubic bone. This is known as the G-spot ("that's where it is!" I hear you yell). Gently massage here, in circles, back and forth, side to side. Your lover may feel the need to pee but hopefully she should feel pleasure building slowly. At this point you may wish to insert the finger between your middle finger and your little finger. Whilst a few of your digits are employed inside, you may as well use your thumb to continue circling the clitoris. Another option is to leave your middle finger inside, continue stimulating the clitoris with your thumb and insert your little finger up her anus. I would suggest you perhaps test the waters first as anal penetration when you are not expecting it would definitely ruin the mood. Whilst all this is going on, your left hand may feel a little underused. Use it instead to continue stroking and massaging other parts of her body (her body parts not yours!). Your lover will more than likely experience a very intense orgasm and afterward will feel completely relaxed. She will generally drift off to sleep and leave you in a state of arousal with no prospect of a Lingam massage for you tonight!
Traditionally the giver, some men may find it difficult to lay back and think of England whilst his lover goes to work on his wand of light. However, I do suggest you give it a go bearing in mind the fantastic massage you gave her Yoni last night.
Get your man to lay back on the bed with a pillow under his head to enable him to see what you are doing. Put a pillow under his hips and spread his legs with his knees bent. His Lingam must be completely exposed. Begin as before by gently massaging all over his body, avoiding this area for a while. This allows him to become completely relaxed and prepared for the touching of the Lingam. Pour a small amount of oil over his shaft and testicles and begin gently massaging his testicles. Next massage the area on the pubic bone above the Lingam. Massage the area between his testicles and his anus (perineum). Moving on to the Lingam, gently grasp the base with your right hand and move up the shaft and then remove your hand, repeat with the left hand. Do this for some time, then change to grasping the Lingam at the top, slide down the shaft and remove your hand, replace with the left and repeat this process. The head of the Lingam is very sensitive and deserves special attention. Massage it in a circular motion. Don't worry if the Lingam goes soft, it will shortly perk up again. Likewise if your partner seems to be on the brink of orgasm, back off and encourage deep breathing.
Keep bringing him close to orgasm and then back off. This is not a method of torture, it helps them to control their ejaculation and therefore achieve longer and more pleasurable orgasms. Whilst continuing to massage his Lingam, you can search for his sacred spot. This is located between his testicles and his anus. It is a small indentation about the size of a pea. If you massage here and gently increase the pressure he may well feel uncomfortable at first. Applying pressure here will help him gain control of his orgasms in future. If he is nearing ejaculation you can apply pressure here and this will increase the intensity of his orgasm.
The end of the massage is signalled by either ejaculation or snoring. If he is snoring you still have some practising to do. If he has ejaculated, you have some clearing up to do.
I am still very much a beginner however I was pleased to discover that Tantric massage is not a mysterious sexual cult and is certainly not difficult to do. Anyone with an hour to spare and a bottle of strawberry flavoured body oil can do it.
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London, one of the largest metropolises in the world, can seem a huge and bewildering place if you visit it for the first time. Britain's colorful capital is full of things to see and do, with superb shopping, world-famous sights, and a wealth of thrilling entertainment and vivid nightlife.
The city has a long history: from the earliest times, the Romans, the Saxons, the Danes, and the Normans settled on this territory in turn. In fact, Londinium was founded by the Romans at the crossing of the Thames in AD 67. On this marshy area, Romans built a typical Roman town, particularly for military purposes. With years, London continued to rise in prosperity and importance. Geographical position and historical circumstances have turned it into one of the world's most important cultural and commercial hubs.
The City of London survived through many of the horrible events: the Plague, killing almost 70,000 people, the Great Fire, World War I, and World War II, which brought a terrible destruction, with a large number of historic buildings damaged or ruined. Yet much was preserved, including St. Paul's Cathedral, the Tower, and Westminster Abbey, the primary tourist attractions of the capital.
The magnificent St Paul's Cathedral, the architectural masterpiece of Sir Christopher Wren, strikes the visitor with its splendid beauty. It is famous for its "Whispering Gallery" - a section over 100 feet above the floor of the Cathedral with very good acoustics. A person standing at the entrance of the Gallery can hear clearly what is said on the opposite side, 107 feet away.
The tourist attractions of London can be enumerated endlessly. This is a city with unbelievably rich history, which is sensed in every building, every monument, every stone in a road, and every leaf of a tree. Come to this amazing capital and see all this with your own eyes!